We had a lovely male English springer spaniel. Being English we thought he should have a distinguished English name, so he was christened Sir Ashley Chadwick, aka Ashley.
Unfortunately he didn't act very distinguished. Ashley was large for a springer but thought he was a lap dog. He always had to greet you with something in his mouth. When we came home he would run around until he found something on the floor; a dog toy, shoe, kid's toy, sock, underwear (oops). He had a nice bed on the floor in our bedroom to sleep, but didn't hesitate to take advantage of our bed if it was empty.
He also was very afraid of thunder, fireworks, etc. We had to make sure he was in the house when a storm was coming and on the 4th of July. Of course you can't always anticipate loud popping sounds or thunder storms. The three screens we had to replace in our back screen door can attest to that.
Ashley liked to sneak food. He ate part of a sheet cake that was cooling on the counter. He would have eaten it all but couldn't reach the rest. The kids Easter baskets weren't safe. We thought we'd pushed them far enough back on the counter but he managed to get one. Chocolate and jelly beans didn't sit well and his stomach started to swell. Just as I was set to run him to the vet he started to vomit and managed to get rid of his ill gotten gains.
But those weren't the worst of his misadventures. I came home one day to find he had managed to open a kitchen cupboard and ate two pounds of raisins. Later that evening the raisins came back to haunt us. My son and I were in the family room watching TV. Ashley was standing near by when suddenly, without warning, those raisins came shooting out his butt. POW, POW, POW, like a machine gun, two pounds of raisins and some other not so nice stuff are spewing out onto my carpet. POW,POW,POW, I start screaming, "Oh my god, Oh my god, get out, get out." POW,POW,POW, Ashley's looking back in bewilderment wondering where that sound is coming from and my son is rolling on the couch convulsed in laughter.
Among the chaos I managed to get the dog outside. I came back and gazed at my carpet in dismay. Then I started to laugh, it was either that or cry. Needless to say that carpet took some major cleaning. This story has become a part of our family lore. We will sometimes ask people, "Have you heard the raisin story?" It is particularly good when told with hand gestures and sound effects. I hope you liked the story and I haven't ruined your taste for raisins.
A thought to ponder: A well developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. William A. Ward
Shared with:Sincerely, Paula
Haha - I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants! I hope your carpet came clean ;)
ReplyDeleteGood grief, Sir Ashley's food thefts seem designed to serve as a cautionary tale (and a well-timed one, coming so close to Halloween)! With Ashley around, you needed the ASPCA's Animal Poison Control hotline number on autodial!
ReplyDeleteI've heard of projectile vomiting, but projectile pooping is a new one on me! I imagine it takes an awful lot to gross out a nurse, but from your graphic description I can easily imagine Ashley's rapid-fire butt nuggets would certainly have what it takes! :-)
Ashley reminds me very much - in looks AND in behavior - of my mother's childhood dogs, a mother-daughter pair of black & white Springer Spaniels named Judy and Pookie. Judy was usually very dignified, but one day as my grandmother answered the door to a delivery man, Judy arrived carrying a pair of my grandmother's panties, which she dropped at the deliveryman's feet. My grandmother was mortified, and as punishment made Judy wear the panties on her head for the rest of the day. As if Judy cared. :-)
I think Springers have that retrieving instinct, thus the need to bring panties to the deliveryman. Ashley was a very loving but goofy dog. I guess we can count ourselves lucky that he never ate anything that required surgical removal. As time went on we did get better about keeping non dog food items out of his reach.
DeleteI knew the raisins would affect Ashley, I just didn't think it would be that dramatic. Yes it was pretty gross.
I think your retriever theory is a good one! Better to retrieve a pair of panties than a Puffee, am I right?!
ReplyDeleteAshley may have been English, but he lived the life of Riley! He looked like a sweetheart, love your photos of him. Btw, I only just now noticed your clever title for this post! LOL! (Oh, and don't think you're not going to be required to tell us the story in person with the gestures and sound effects!) ;-)