Ain't Nobody Got Time for That, Part one

     The New Year is a time for resolutions and new beginnings. We all have at one time made a vow to do this or not do that. All of which goes out the window by February. One thing I don't need to make a resolution about is being organized, because I am. Now I'm not bragging, I am an organized person. But the main reason I'm organized is because I'm lazy. Now you might wonder how these two things can go together. It's simple, being organized saves time and energy. If I can find an easier way to do something you can bet I'll do it.

     I can hear the moaning now, I just don't have time to get organized. I have too much stuff. Ok that's the first step in becoming organized, get rid of stuff. Don't even try to organize until you've done this step. If you say you need more containers, more cupboards, more house, then I say nooo, you need less stuff. What is clutter? It is anything you don't use, need or want.  There is plenty of information on the internet about decluttering. Two good sites that address minimalism are: Becoming Minimalist, The Minimalists. Everyone's needs are of course different. If you have children, what you need is going to be different then someone without kids. How far you want to go with minimalism is up to you. But if you do nothing else, at least become a more aware consumer. Think before you buy. 

    The first step to decluttering is to start.  Just begin with one room at a time and one drawer or closet at a time. It's amazing what you can accomplish in   15 -20 minutes. If you run across something and say "oh, I forgot I had this", it needs to go, because obviously you didn't miss or need it. Don't get caught up in the "one day" or "what if". If you haven't used something in several years what makes you think you're going to start using it now?

   Do you feel like your life is chaotic, that you never seem to get everything done? This is what clutter can do to you. Even if most of your stuff is out of sight in closets and drawers. It's still there and your subconscious knows it's there. You own your stuff, it shouldn't own you. We each must decide what is important in our life. When you're bogged down by too many things that require your care, you loose time from the things that you really want to do. Yes, it's going to take some time to declutter and organize, but in the long run you will save time, energy and frustration.

     Are you still whining that you don't have time to go through everything you own? Let me ask you this, if someone in your family asks where something is, can you put your hands on it right now? If you're spending time looking for something that you know is "around here somewhere", then you're wasting time. Even 10 - 15 minutes a day spent looking for things can add up to over an hour a week. An hour that you could have spent doing something more enjoyable. 

     Your things should have a purpose whether functional or aesthetic. I'm not saying your home should be a bare box. But if you're not using and/or enjoying your possessions then they are owning you, they are controlling your life.  By having less stuff it means less time spent deciding what to do with that stuff. Here is a blog post that can get you started: Jumpstart Decluttering. 

     If you really want your life to be less chaotic then you'll make time to declutter, otherwise you'll just continue to make excuses. Hopefully I've convinced you to start a house cleanse. Stop by for part two, I will go over a few things I do to keep organized. 

A thought to ponder: "Clutter isn't just the stuff in your closet it's anything that gets between you and the life that you want to be living"    Peter Walsh

Participating: No Rules Weekend, Weekend Blog Hop

Foot In Mouth Disease

     There seems to be an epidemic going around. My fear is that there is no cure. It seems like every other day you hear of someone apologizing for something they said or wrote. There seems to be this need to chime in on everything that happens even things that aren't really that important. Now don't get me wrong everyone is entitled to their opinion/belief. We all have them and we all believe ours is the right way to think. A good discussion is always worth while. But why do people have to be so nasty and snarky about what they say?

     The internet certainly has made it easier to express our opinions. With Facebook and Twitter you can comment instantly on anything that happens. The problem is that a lot of people forget to put their brain in gear before putting their mouth in motion, or in this case their fingers. You find people blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. They don't seem to take the time to think about the affect their words will have. Or perhaps they don't care, which I think is worse. Every time I hear of someone who is apologizing for something they said, I shake my head and think, "Well why did you say it in the first place?"

     I guess I'm old fashioned in that I still believe if you can't say something nice, don't say anything. Certainly you should have an opinion and certainly you have the right to express it. "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do." To me this is where the problem is, people think this is ok. They might say they're just being truthful. NO, you're being hurtful.

     Here's my opinion, if you're going to criticize and complain about something then you'd better have some solutions. Otherwise, keep your mouth or keyboard shut. If you're going to condemn someone, you'd better be perfect. There are such things as tact and constructive criticism. Winston Churchill said, "Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip."

     Constructive criticism is just that, constructive. It is helpful not hurtful. When I paint a picture it's of no help to me if someone says, "that sucks". Sure that's their opinion and maybe the painting does suck. But that doesn't help me make it better. Rather pointing out ways I could improve the painting would be of more benefit.

     Maybe not having to talk face to face with someone makes it easier to say unkind things. Ask yourself would you really say that to a person's face? Maybe the fact that you don't know the person makes it alright. And of course there are the people who make anonymous comments. These are the cowards of the internet. They don't even have the courage of their convictions or opinions to put their name on them.

     In the end when you make cutting remarks it really is a reflection of who you are as a person. You might think you're being clever and truthful but "a sharp tongue sometimes cuts it's own throat." If you read or hear something and have the need to respond, think first. You don't have to agree but come up with some thoughtful reasons why you disagree. Because if you can't do that then your opinion/belief is on very shaky ground.

     There will always be people who feel the need to condemn and criticize. We can only feel sorry for these people for they are very unhappy indeed. Let's work to end "foot in mouth disease". Maybe we can't wipe it out entirely but we can at least reduce it from an epidemic to just a random case here and there.

Maybe we need to wash some mouths out with soap, like we do for hands, to reduce the spread of disease.

A thought to ponder: The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.

Participating:No Rules Weekend

Can You Speak Wyoming?

     Travel can be such a life enhancing experience. It doesn't really matter where you travel, you will always learn something. I've been fortunate to have had the opportunity to travel to quite a bit of the United States, also to Australia, New Zealand and a number of countries in Europe. All have been a wonderful learning experience and I hope to do more.

A trip to Italy (2006) Florence 

Trevi fountain - Rome

A trip to Greece (2008)

     I've always been interested in history. I love reading books about historical subjects both fiction and nonfiction. I find it interesting to learn about other cultures. It's fascinating to see how people do things in other countries or even in other parts of the U.S. Another way, besides travel, I've been able to learn about other cultures has been hosting foreign exchange students. When our children were growing up we had several: two from Germany, one from Switzerland, one from France. This experience was of benefit to the whole family. 

A trip to Costa Rica (2011)

     A couple years ago we had the opportunity to have a young lady from Japan stay with us. We had a wonderful time learning and laughing with Mariko. Although she is now back in Japan we keep in touch and she is considered part of our family. She calls us her American parents. Our grandson hit it off with Mariko and they became great friends.

Rex with Mariko and another good friend, from So. Korea, Taesub 

     Whenever Rex came to our house he would want to hang out with her if she was home. One day while they were together Mariko was watching a video on her computer. It was in Japanese. She explained to Rex that they were speaking Japanese, like he speaks English. He replied, "No I don't speak English, I'm not from England. I speak Wyoming".  They have a family friend who is from England and of course speaks with a British accent. So I guess that's his idea of English. 

    Although Rex hasn't been out of the U.S. yet, he has been to a number of states. He's visited: California, Montana, South Dakota, Kentucky, Louisiana and Florida. He was able to communicate very well with the inhabitants of those states. As he gets older he will have a better understanding of how Wyoming is a part of a larger United States. And that the U.S. is part of an even larger world. But he's already had the opportunity to meet people from many other places. And perhaps learn that although the world can seem large we have more in common then we realize. So what language do you speak?


A thought to ponder: Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.



Participating: Share Your Cup, No Rules Weekend, Share the Joy, Grand Social

Who's in Your Garden?

     Our garden offers us many hours of enjoyment. Not only do we enjoy the beauty of our flowers and the bounty of our vegetable garden; we also can delight in numerous types of wildlife.

A finch picnic

     Our bird feeders and bird baths give us a wonderful opportunity to view many types of birds. It is always fun to watch their antics.

A classy swimming pool

A puddle will do nicely too

     It doesn't seem to matter the time of year, we always seem to have some kind of avian visitor.

This robin is wondering what happened. This picture was taken in April.

A Lazuli Bunting

Here's a Northern Flicker, a type of woodpecker. They hang around into winter. I always leave some grapes on my vines for them, well what the robins don't get. The woodpeckers love frozen grapes. 

This hawk is scouting for lunch. I know they have to eat also but I sure don't like them getting my little sparrows. Fortunately the sparrows have a nice place to hide in a prickly rose bush near the feeders.

I think this is a Rose-breasted Grosbeak

This is "Morty" our resident pheasant. He has been coming and going in our yard for several years now.

Here's Morty last spring with one of his female friends, he had two.

These guys showed up in our yard one day this past August. They poked around for awhile then waddled on their merry way.

We always seem to have one or two rabbits that like to make a home under our shed. Like the other wild life they come and go.

This doe stopped to take a drink last week in front of our house.

Here's the doe's friend munching on some grass. We see this buck and several does frequently this time of year roaming around the neighborhood.

    A first for us, a couple weeks ago we had raccoons in our yard. We found the dog's water dish tipped over one morning and were wondering how it happened. That evening our motion sensor light in front went off and my husband spotted four raccoons before they scooted around to the back. The next day the water dish was tipped over again. We're pretty sure they were eating fallen crab apples. They have since moved on to greener pastures. I wish I could have gotten a picture.

     These are a few examples of the wildlife that visit our yard. Over the years as our garden has grown and evolved we've noticed more birds. Not only the number of birds but also the variety.  So who's in your garden?

A thought to ponder: "When man moves away from nature his heart becomes                                         hard."    Lakota

Linked to:No Rules Weekend, Outdoor Wednesday

The Art of Doing Nothing

     Now that I'm retired I often get asked what I do all day. I'd love to be able to say I've come up with a solution for the major problems of the world. And in my spare time I've figured out how to open plastic encased items without using every tool you own. But instead I just answer jokingly, " a lot of nothing".
     I guess if your not gainfully employed you can't be doing much, otherwise why do people feel the need to ask. It's kind of the same thing you run into when you're "just a housewife". I do everything I did when I was working outside the home. I clean house, do laundry, cook meals, grocery shop. All the mundane things most people have to do. But I also have more time to pursue my many interests and hobbies.
  

Gardening

      The other thing I have time for doing is nothing. I can hear people gasping, do nothing, how can you even consider such a thing. Socrates said, "Beware the barrenness of a busy life". Even back in his time this need to be busy all the time evidently was an issue. People think they have to be doing something all the time or they're wasting time. But just because you're busy doesn't necessarily mean your accomplishing anything.

     I also think many people are afraid of their own company. If I stop and do nothing I might have to think and I might not like what I'm thinking. There also is a great fear of being bored. You see people running from one activity to another. If you ask someone how they're doing as often as not you'll hear, "busy". Have you noticed how many people can't just sit and wait? Learning to do nothing can be helpful to a person's mental health. It can give you an opportunity to recharge. A chance to clear your mind and regroup.

Watercolor painting

    A person shouldn't wait until retirement to learn to savor the moment. Sitting on the front porch watching a summer rain. Walking through the garden to see what's blooming. Sipping a cup of tea and watching the birds dine at the feeders. Horror of horrors you're wasting time. But as Bertrand Russel said, "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time".  That's what I'm enjoying about retirement, I can do "something" or a lot of "nothing". It's my time to do with as I choose. Unless I have an appointment for something my time is my own. Waking in the morning without an alarm clock is wonderful. I don't have to leap out of bed. I can stretch, rub the dogs tummy, look out the window and watch the trees turn from dark to golden as the sun comes up. Knowing I don't have to be any where in particular is such a feeling of freedom.

Photography

     If your career is everything to you and you are happy and don't want to retire, then don't. I've never regretted my career choice of nursing. It didn't just give me a paycheck, it also gave me enormous satisfaction. But after 47 years I'm ready to try something new. I've learned over the years that I don't need to apologize to anyone for what I do or don't do. I'm not here to impress anyone. I've been through many phases in my life, retirement is just one more. It's a learning experience just like the other phases: daughter, student, newlywed, married with children, working outside the home with family, empty nester. Each time my life changed direction was an opportunity to learn and grow. Over that time I did learn a very important lesson; to make the life that I wanted; to not judge or compare my life to another person's. It's not an easy task. We're bombarded with so much information and advice, it's easy to loose sight of what is really important to us as an individual.

  Travel (Goblin State Park in Utah)

     It's good to cultivate hobbies and interests before you retire. I've always been a believer that no one thing should be the only defining part of me. I'm more then a wife, a mother, a nurse, a grandparent. I'm all these things and more. We are all the sum of our life's experiences (good and bad), this is what makes us who we are today. I hope I never stop learning and discovering. Retirement just offers me the opportunity of more time to do just that. Or maybe I'll just do "nothing".

Grandchildren

A thought to ponder: "When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen."

Participating in:No Rules Weekend

A Magic Wand

     This post is going to be longer then usual, that's because it covers 35 years. First I need to tell you a little about the person responsible for this tale, my mother, Mateel.  My mother passed in 2003, she left many wonderful memories for myself and numerous others. She was the kind of person who never met a stranger and accepted people without judgment. Her out going personality drew people to her like a magnet. She was a willing listener and people felt comfortable talking to her. When she made a friend they were a friend for life.

Sharon (L), Mateel (R)  1944

     There are numerous other things I could write about my mother and perhaps I will in another post. But this one will illustrate her sense of humor and fun. This is shown in the following story. The writing of this tale was started by my Aunt Sharon, Mateel's older sister. She wrote until 1985 when each person took over and added their bit to the story. As I copy the story for your pleasure, I will put in parenthesis the relationship of the person to Mateel.

She lived life with gusto  1956

A Gift Gone Awry?

The History & Chronology of the Infamous Potato Peeler

(an electric peeling wand)

     1979 - It all started at Christmas time, when Mateel attended a "Fancy Dan" luncheon at the Castaways in Burbank (California). She received the wand as a door prize and under her breath she muttered, "Oh shit!" (The donor remained anonymous). All too quickly she passed it on to Lillian (daughter-in-law) who received it with great joy. Or was that look one of consternation?

     1980 - Lillian presented the peeler to Sharon, who received it with her famous comment of "What the hell?" (Lillian looked on with great contentment and satisfaction).

     1981 - The magic wand then returned to Mateel as part of a birthday present. Her EXACT words when she opened the gift were,"Oh shit!" (When it came to the wand, Mateel was a woman of few words).

     1982 - With wrapping paper in hand, Mateel took great care in wrapping this wonderful wand for Susan (niece) for Christmas. Susan should have been a little wary when she got the package from her Aunt Mateel. When Sharon watched Susan open the present, she got a devilish twinkle in her eye, and then laughed so hard she could be heard up and down the Bitter Root Valley (Montana). No one could hear Susan exclaim, "It's a peeling wand. What does this @*%!& do, and WHY ME?"

     1983 - Susan sent the precious package to Beverly (niece) for her birthday with a pre-warning sign on the card that said, "Do not shake! Maybe you should wait until you are all alone and have a glass of wine first, better have two! Open ASAP in a safe place". Beverly took the advice and, with glass in hand, proceeded to open the gift in the privacy of her bedroom. The roar of laughter brought all the kids running to see if their mom was still sane.

     1984 - Christmas was when it started and on each Christmas that followed the magic wand seemed to wend it's merry way to the next unsuspecting relative. And so it was that Beverly experienced the joy of giving when she presented the family "heirloom" to her mother. Sharon was underwhelmed as the gift was opened and uttered, "My God, It's back already." While Beverly's gleeful laughter rang through the house.

     1985 - The wand did not gather dust. Sharon sent it with loving care and great relief to Jackie (daughter) with the following note:

      Jackie it is with great delight that I remember you on your birthday, and add you to the list of family members who have experienced temporary ownership of this mystical peeling wand, take good care of it while it is in your possession, and remember, you don't have to wait until Christmas to pass it on.

     That same year, Jackie wasted no time. The wand made its way to Southern California to Chris (daughter) with Jackie's words of sincerity:

     I have to say I was overwhelmed when I received this, ah, interesting gift from Aunt Sharon. It has graced a very special place in my closet since February. As much as I hate to part with it, I feel it is only fair that Charis have a turn in owning this wonderful item. Because I am such a loving and devoted sister, I now pass the potato peeler to my sweet sister Chris. Enjoy it in good health and just remember Christmas isn't that far away.

               

     1987 - But as you can see, Chris could not bear to part with it. There was something magical about the wand and she could not bring herself to give it up. Finally, after much self-recrimination and in a great gift giving mood, she made the sacrifice when she learned Aunt Sharon would be spending Christmas with her sister Mateel. When Sharon opened the package she was less than ecstatic, but realized immediately that an old friend had returned to her life. And yes, she thought fiendishly, Susan was getting married.

And so the chronology continued......

     1988 - Back to Susan at a family picnic, she began to plot to get even.

     1989 - Susan finally changed the course of the wand travels by giving it to the first male. She gave it to the newest member of the family, Bill (husband).

     1990 - Bill decided to pass it along in a "manly" tradition and Vince (son) was the lucky guy. And Vince, the poor soul, sent the wand back to the closet and there it stayed until......

     1997 - .....and it came back into the hands of Beverly.

     1998 - Back to Susan until its 20th anniversary in 1999! And who should receive the anniversary gift but Sharon.

     August 20, 2000 - Sharon decides since Mateel started this over 20 years ago, she deserves to have it just one more time - just for the helluvit.

     August 3, 2002 - Mateel gives it back to Susan.

     August 8, 2002 - What a lovely birthday gift for Chris.

     December 25, 2002 - Chris decides to be a trailblazer and give it to the first grandchild - Casie.

     January 2006 - A mere 3 or so years later, Casie opts to relinquish the almighty wand to her new sister-in-law, Kristin. Welcome to the family!

     December 2009 - After opening the gift three years earlier and asking her husband,"What is this weird thing?" and also wondering what kind of people she is now related to, Kristin and Vincent (grandson) move to a new house and move the wand with them. The wand languishes in the garage where every time Kristin parks the car she sees that weird box and thinks, "must get rid of that ugly thing" and "now why can't Vince's family pass down something like, say a Louis 14th silver tea set?" Finally the opportunity arrives, there is a wedding, Danny (grandson) gets married. "Ah, a new unsuspecting bride," Kristin thinks. "Better welcome her to the family and finally clear out my darn garage."

     December 25, 2009 - Carolyn and Danny received a mysterious package from Wyoming. Danny opened the box, chuckled and said, "Holy shit." Then he said, "Oh Carolyn, this one's for you." Carolyn reluctantly and cautiously opened it. She said, "I don't like this, WHAT?!" After reading the story, Carolyn wanted to get rid of it right away. After thinking it through she decided to give it to her new sister-in-law. Merry Christmas Katrina (granddaughter)

     November 18, 2012 - After persistent pressure to clear out the closet from her mother (Chris), Katrina knows she needs to get rid of this wand. But to whom? Luckily, Facebook tells her that it was Casie's birthday only a few days ago! And the family is all getting together for a pre-Thanksgiving feast. The perfect storm for a surprise potato peeler gifting. Happy Birthday, Cuz!

     June 21, 2014 - Casie happens upon the perfect opportunity to introduce yet another family member to the wonders of the wand. What better occasion than a graduation! A graduation party is the perfect place to bestow this upon Serena (granddaughter). Being 18 and heading off into the big world, Serena is ready for this responsibility. Congratulations!

  I didn't think Serena would be able to get rid of the wand so fast, but another wedding made for the perfect opportunity. She was able to pass it off to a new unsuspecting cousin. Katrina's (granddaughter) husband to be, Eric. With the help of her mother, Serena sent the following:

     September 20, 2014 - In honor of the wedding of Eric and Katrina. All our best. Keep going....instructions follow:

Young Eric soon to be wed

Just lounging around in his bed

A package doth come

What's to be done?

The possibilities filled him with dread

Hum does it reek like a skunk?

Possibly some swill to be drunk?

A box of rocks

Some stinky socks

Just open it up you big lunk!

Could be something appealing

Sure to just set you reeling

Peel back the wrap

Or give it just a slight tap

Remember with whom you are dealing...

We say kitchen tools are just the right touch 

For skilled tasks like PEELING and such

If veggies abound

Keep this around

and remember we love SOOOOO much!

     As I said each person has added their tale of the wand, but now instead of typed on paper, it is on a zip drive (which gets sent with the wand). No one has ever tried the peeler, it's so old now it might explode. The box is held together with string, but as you can see Mateel gave a gift that keeps on giving. There are still some relatives that haven't had this magical gift, who will be next? The spirit of Mateel lives on in this special "Magic Wand".

     I asked Serena to take a picture of the peeler because for some odd reason no one ever did. Unfortunately she asked her father, my brother, to carry out the task. The following is what I received from him. His exact words, "I thought this would be more A-Peeling."

A though to ponder: Life will always be to a large extent what we ourselves make it.

Participating in:No Rules Weekend

Anything is better than Nothing

     I recently read an article about toys for children, gender specific or gender neutral. The father who wrote the article was basically saying you should just let your child pick what toys interest them the most. For the most part I agree with him. Kids, like adults, have different interests and they can change over time.
     Babies need things to simulate their senses. They should involve colors, shapes, sounds and textures.

The seat swiveled so Miranda (2007) could enjoy those experiences

     As a baby grows and matures their world expands. They become more mobile, making it easier to explore that world. Everything is of interest to a toddler. They don't really need toys. They can be happy with pots and pans to bang, magazines to tear up, the outdoors with it's grass, leaves and dirt.  

What's black and white and read all over? (Rex 2008)

     At some point most parents will note their child becoming fixated on one or two things. For awhile Rex loved vacuums and garbage trucks. Now if you want to stereotype you could say the vacuum was female and the garbage truck was male. Rex didn't care about any of that, they were just some things that interested him.

Rex helping Daddy vacuum

     More important than toys are experiences. Just going for a walk can be a learning experience for a child. But play is an important part of childhood. Play is a child's work, it's important for their development. So a child should be exposed to many different types of toys. They probably will show a preference at some point. And if a girl likes dolls and a boy likes trucks or vice versa, so be it.

     My grandmother, "Canny", was ahead of her time. In 1955 when my brother Vince turned 5, children received very gender specific toys. Vince wanted a toy eighteen wheeler for his birthday, which he did receive. Canny thought he needed to develop his nurturing side, she gave him a doll. It was a boy doll in red footy pajamas. My brother was very offended by this gift. He got angry and started crying and saying he didn't want any ole doll, basically having a little fit. At the mature age of 8 I was appalled at his behavior, you didn't act that way when given a gift. On the other hand his behavior didn't phase my grandmother. She just smiled and asked him what he'd like to name the doll. With a scowl on his face Vince crossed his arms and angrily said, "anything".

Vince  1956

     Of course he meant nothing, he wasn't going to name it at all. Still unphased my grandmother said, "Anything, that's a lovely name for your doll." So that is how the doll "Anything" got his name. I don't remember how long it took but eventually Vince decided he rather liked "Anything". He wouldn't go to bed with out him. If he couldn't find him he would run around the house in a panic, "where's Anything, where's Anything?" My grandmother knew what she was about, boys and girls need to be exposed to all kinds of toys even the so called opposite gender ones.

My son Vincent 1973, receiving his doll. He named him Sammy.

A thought to ponder: We've begun to raise daughters more like sons, but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.     Gloria Steinem

Participating in:No Rules Weekend