Great Way to Start the Summer

     I haven't posted anything in quite a while. Other things kept getting in the way but mostly I haven't been in the blogging mood. The daughter and granddaughter were here for an end of school visit. So I thought I'd share some of the fun things we did in the short time they were here. 

     A morning walk along the city pathways was a nice way to start the day. Besides the lovely scenery,

we spotted a deer.

I also had the opportunity to take a group photo.

     One of the days we went to lunch at the Bradford Brinton museum. Look at the view we had while eating. 

This is the art museum where the bistro is located.

Here is a shot of some of the grounds and the house (taken a couple months ago). You can tour Mr. Brinton's house with all it's wonderful western art. It is worth a visit if you're ever in the neighborhood.

While driving home we passed an alpaca ranch. So of course we had to stop and say Hi. The kiddos really enjoyed looking at them.

A visit to the local nursery means you have to sit in the giant chair.

We of course made a visit to the park swimming pool and to the ice cream stand afterwards.

Sunday brunch with all the family is always nice.

The visit wouldn't be complete without a water fight with balloons and the hose.

And to top off the visit the grandson had a baseball game.

As with most visits this one was way to short. But we did manage to pack some fun activities in and make more memories. 

A thought to ponder: "Take care of your memories, for you can not relive them."

                                                                                                  Bob Dylan

Participating in: Share Your Cup, Wined Down Wednesday, Our World Tuesday, Grand Social

Out of the Mouths of Babes

      Young children have a tendency to say whatever is on their minds. They don't really have any filters. That's why many times they say things that are funny and even profound. Now days you can find parents posting all over the internet the things their children have said, sometimes to their embarrassment. When our grandson was around four we were at the bank and he said he needed to use the bathroom. I said, " Ok, we'll ask the lady over there where the bathroom is." As we walk over he says in his loudest voice, "Hey lady, do you have a bathroom in this place?"

     As I've mentioned in another post, A Ready Made Friend, Rex and his cousin really enjoy each other when they get together. Another bathroom incident that happened later that year when she came for a visit, was at a very nice restaurant. He and his parents had gotten to the restaurant first and were waiting for the rest of us to arrive. He had to use the bathroom, so his mother got up to take him. About half way there he turned around and hollered, "Daddy tell Mimi I'll be back, tell her I'm going poop."

     One thing I wish I'd done when my kids were young was to write down more of the funny and interesting things that they said. I've tried to be a little more diligent about writing the words of my grandchildren. But even so I know I've missed some gems.

         When Miranda (aka Mimi) was visiting us she saw a picture of herself, at a little over one year old, in my bedroom. She looked at it and said, "I'm so adorable". What could I say, I had to agree. When she was four she went to a school carnival. Her mother asked her if she had fun, "yes, but I got cotton candy on my hands, it was a sticky situation."

     Rex had been learning songs for his preschool Christmas concert. On the day of the concert all the children got up on stage to sing. Rex was in front, but he just stood there and never sang a word. When his Dad asked him afterwards why he didn't sing when he knew the songs; his reply, "my brain got sick."

     Although the grand kids are getting older they can still make us laugh. When we were visiting our granddaughter this past January, we saw her newly decorated bedroom. When my husband told her he thought it was very lovely, she said, "I'm glad to hear the big guy likes it." 

     Our grandson really wanted his Dad to receive a certain video game for his birthday (because he wanted to play it of course). So he tells me, "I want to get the video game for my Dad." Me: "Do you have any money?" Him: "No, that's what you're for." He didn't get the money. So he went to his grandfather. Him: "Poppy can I borrow $40." Poppy: "No."  Him: "I didn't think so, but just thought I'd ask." 

     When I retired I was given some frog statues for our garden as a gift.

      Technology pops up everywhere now days, as shown by the frog with the cell phone. It also affects the way kids view the world. After looking at these frogs our grandson said, "Hey Poppy, this frog doesn't have any apps on his phone."

     Take my advice carry a notebook with you at all times. You never know what is going to pop out of the mouths of babes. You think you'll remember but many times you don't and it would be a shame to miss a special remark. You might want to look into Little Hoots, it's an app you can get for recording what your child says. I haven't tried it but it might be worth checking out.

A thought to ponder: "While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."                          Angela Schwindt

Participating in:Grand Social, Share the Joy, Amaze Me Monday, Seasons, Through My Lens, Share Your Cup

Big Boys Don't Cry

     Emotions, we all have them, some we celebrate others not so much. Emotions are usually divided into positive and negative. Examples of positive emotions: love, happiness, joy, hope, enthusiasm, trust, gratitude. Examples of negative emotions: fear, anger, guilt, jealousy, worry, grief. These are just a few examples of the many emotions that we all can experience. If we feel a certain emotion whether positive or negative, it is still our emotion and it is real. For me it is this realness that makes all emotions valuable.

     Anger is considered a negative emotion. But if left bottled up anger can cause real harm to a person's well being. On the other hand if your anger gets out of control and you hurt another person either verbally or physically then that's not OK. But still it is a legitimate emotion that hits us all at one time or an other.

     A number of years ago when we were moving, my husband accidentally broke part of a mirror. It was a full length beveled mirror my mother had given me. He was being careful but when he set the mirror down on the ground to get a better grip it hit a small rock and a corner broke off. Needless to say I got very upset. My husband defended himself saying, "I didn't do it on purpose". I angrily replied, "I know you didn't do it on purpose. I'm not mad at you, I'm angry that the mirror broke. I have a right to be angry about that". Now my husband can be pretty smart at times. This was one of those times, he shut his mouth and didn't say another word. I fumed for awhile and then I got over it. Because in the big scheme of things a broken corner or even mirror isn't the end of the world. I hung the mirror at our new home where it remains today.

     Have you used an emoticon recently in a email or Facebook post? When you write to someone it can be difficult sometimes to convey the way you're feeling. The creation of emoticons has helped us give people a little better idea of the tone of our message. But really nothing beats talking to someone in person; to hear the tone of their voice; to see the expressions on their face. This is what makes face to face interaction more valuable. Negative emotions in others can make us uncomfortable. Many times we just want them to go away.

     Crying is one of those emotions. We can cry for many different reasons, here's an interesting article on Why We Cry. When someone is crying sometimes our first instinct is to try to get them to stop and to feel better. Maybe instead we should be saying, "Go ahead and cry, get it all out".

    One day when our son was about three years old I was going to the post office. I don't remember what but something had upset him and he started to cry. I carried him into the building, as we stood in line he continued to cry. The lady behind me said to my son in a cheerful voice, "Big boys don't cry". I looked at her and said, "They do if they have something to cry about". Now I know that she meant well but it still annoyed me. First of all he was only three, far from being a "big boy". But more important I believed then and still do that boys/men have as much right to cry as girls/women. Implying that a child's feelings are wrong is not helpful.

     We need to accept that we all have a wide range of emotions, it's what makes us human. The positive ones are easier to deal with. It's the negative ones that can get us into trouble. We shouldn't necessarily try to ignore or suppress them but we also shouldn't let them get out of control. Showing no emotion is no better then going overboard with every emotion. How we each express our emotions is influenced by numerous factors: culture, gender, family dynamics, etc. Many studies have been done on this subject and I'm sure there have been papers written about almost every emotion. 

     For me helping a child learn to deal with negative emotions is very important. I don't think a child should be told they're bad if they feel anger, jealousy, fear, etc. But rather help the child to understand (appropriate to age) why they are having these feelings. And then help them to learn constructive ways to deal with them. Sweeping something under the carpet is never helpful. I know it is easier said then done but we must learn to face the hard things head on.

Our son at three, 1974

A thought to ponder: "Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf."                  Jonatan Martensson

Participating in: Let's Talk Mommy, Share the Joyl

Anything is better than Nothing

     I recently read an article about toys for children, gender specific or gender neutral. The father who wrote the article was basically saying you should just let your child pick what toys interest them the most. For the most part I agree with him. Kids, like adults, have different interests and they can change over time.
     Babies need things to simulate their senses. They should involve colors, shapes, sounds and textures.

The seat swiveled so Miranda (2007) could enjoy those experiences

     As a baby grows and matures their world expands. They become more mobile, making it easier to explore that world. Everything is of interest to a toddler. They don't really need toys. They can be happy with pots and pans to bang, magazines to tear up, the outdoors with it's grass, leaves and dirt.  

What's black and white and read all over? (Rex 2008)

     At some point most parents will note their child becoming fixated on one or two things. For awhile Rex loved vacuums and garbage trucks. Now if you want to stereotype you could say the vacuum was female and the garbage truck was male. Rex didn't care about any of that, they were just some things that interested him.

Rex helping Daddy vacuum

     More important than toys are experiences. Just going for a walk can be a learning experience for a child. But play is an important part of childhood. Play is a child's work, it's important for their development. So a child should be exposed to many different types of toys. They probably will show a preference at some point. And if a girl likes dolls and a boy likes trucks or vice versa, so be it.

     My grandmother, "Canny", was ahead of her time. In 1955 when my brother Vince turned 5, children received very gender specific toys. Vince wanted a toy eighteen wheeler for his birthday, which he did receive. Canny thought he needed to develop his nurturing side, she gave him a doll. It was a boy doll in red footy pajamas. My brother was very offended by this gift. He got angry and started crying and saying he didn't want any ole doll, basically having a little fit. At the mature age of 8 I was appalled at his behavior, you didn't act that way when given a gift. On the other hand his behavior didn't phase my grandmother. She just smiled and asked him what he'd like to name the doll. With a scowl on his face Vince crossed his arms and angrily said, "anything".

Vince  1956

     Of course he meant nothing, he wasn't going to name it at all. Still unphased my grandmother said, "Anything, that's a lovely name for your doll." So that is how the doll "Anything" got his name. I don't remember how long it took but eventually Vince decided he rather liked "Anything". He wouldn't go to bed with out him. If he couldn't find him he would run around the house in a panic, "where's Anything, where's Anything?" My grandmother knew what she was about, boys and girls need to be exposed to all kinds of toys even the so called opposite gender ones.

My son Vincent 1973, receiving his doll. He named him Sammy.

A thought to ponder: We've begun to raise daughters more like sons, but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.     Gloria Steinem

Participating in:No Rules Weekend

Celebrate Whenever You Can

     I was going to save this until closer to the holidays. Then I got to thinking about the whole celebrating thing and our need to save things for special occasions. How many of you have "good" dishes that you only bring out when company comes?  Shouldn't you and your family be just as important or even more so then "company"? No matter what constitutes your family; you and a furry friend, you and a significant other, or with kids, or just you. You shouldn't hesitate to celebrate whenever you can, and in whatever way makes you happy.
    Children have the knack of enjoying each day, making it special because there are always new things to see and learn. Our granddaughter Miranda has always enjoyed music. Even as a baby she would bounce and sway to music. When she could walk, she would dance. It made her happy and still does.

"Children dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music"

     We tend to celebrate major milestones, as well we should, but what about the minor ones. Did you just have your best golf game ever; did your child learn to ride his two wheeler; did you buy your first new car; or how about you just had the nicest Tuesday in a long time. We shouldn't save our nice things for special occasions. What's the point of having them if you don't enjoy them. The same goes for our days. Yes, some days are not so good, maybe down right horrible, all the more reason to celebrate when a really good day comes along.

     I buy Miranda a holiday dress each year before Thanksgiving. One year I was visiting and had given her the holiday dress, so her mother bought her some nice shoes to go with it. When Casie came home with the shoes Miranda exclaimed, "Oh, now I have my celebrating shoes."

Miranda in her celebrating shoes

     Everyone should have a pair of celebrating shoes. It doesn't matter what they look like. Maybe they're tennis shoes and you go for a hike or a run. Maybe they're flip flops and you go to the beach, lake or a picnic. They can be any kind of shoe in which you do something you enjoy, because enjoying life in big or small ways is celebrating life. So go put on your celebrating shoes and dance like no one is watching.

Miranda still enjoying dance

A thought to ponder: Happiness is not about getting there; it's about being here.    Robert Holden

Lions and Tigers and Monsters, OH MY!

     In my last post I discussed fear and I'm going to continue with that subject. To a child the world is a new and wondrous place, but also it can be scary. One day when our grandson Rex was three, he was at our house and it was starting to get dark. My husband and Rex were looking out the front window when Al said, "I'm going to go out and get the newspaper." Rex looked up at him and said, "Ok Poppy, but be careful, and be brave." 

Rex 3 years

     Part of growing up is learning to be brave. Whatever life throws at us, we hopefully develop the courage to deal with difficulties and come out a better person. All children have fears and anxieties, this is normal. These fears will change as the child grows and develops. Usually between the ages 4 to 6 children's fears are not based on reality i.e. monster, ghosts, etc. It is the job of parents and grandparents to help their child feel safe no matter the fear.

Rex and Poppy

     Our son Vince, Rex's father, made a good attempt at helping with the fear of monsters. The following is Vince's version of what happened as posted on his Facebook page:

     Welcome back to #daddyfail blog. In tonight's post I fail at warding off           monsters and aliens.

     Background: Rex reports this fear and I had the genius idea of using my        special mixture of "monster repellent". I make an elaborate display of            spraying the "repellent" around his room.

   Rex: "Daddy that's just Febreeze"

   Me: (nervous) "No, no, this is my best mixture of monster repellent ever."

   Rex: "Daddy it even smells like Febreeze. It's Febreeze, I can read it."

   Me: (crushed & defeated) "I had to use the Febreeze bottle to mix it in                         because it's so powerful."

   Rex: "Well at least it smells nice."

   Me: "Ok.....well I guess we are done here."

   Rex: "It's ok Daddy, you tried."

Daddy & Rex

     This isn't really a fail because Vince took his son's fears seriously. Rex can feel secure in knowing his father cares enough to try and make him feel safe. But, just in case those monsters come back, the grandparents come to the rescue with their patented formula.

A thought to ponder: Courage is not the absence of fear. It is the will to face                                            it.

Revenge can be sweet

     "So what did you do Friday night?"  
     "Oh just sat around watching a baby wiggle."
Yes when you become a grandparent that's the type of activity you find entertaining. Our daughter Casie had the first grandchild, Miranda. She was also the first for our son-in-law Art's parents. Needless to say we were all very excited. We were finally able to see her in California when she was six weeks of age. 
     Casie and her husband had not had an evening out together since the baby was born.  So the four grandparents volunteered to babysit while they went out to dinner. Now at six weeks babies don't do a whole lot. If they're not eating or sleeping then they're laying in one spot looking around and randomly moving their arms and legs, basically wiggling. For several hours four adults sat and watched a six week old baby wiggle. You would have thought she was putting on an Oscar winning performance the way we oohed and ahhed.

Miranda at 6 weeks

     That was almost 8 years ago. Over that time we've had many great visits either in California or here in Wyoming and we Skype often.  I've enjoyed watching Casie and Art go from nervous newbies to confident parents. When Miranda was about a year or so old, Casie said to me, "Mom, now I get it." The 'it' being how hard parenting can be. I was glad to hear she was developing an appreciation of her fathers and my efforts as parents.

Miranda at 14 months

      But I have to say one of my favorite moments happened during a Skype session. Miranda was around two and she decided to have a toddler melt down. Casie and Art tried to reason with her. You can not reason with a two year old even under the best of circumstances. My husband and I started to laugh as we sat and watched from a safe distance. As they tried to deal with an out of control toddler, Casie said, "You don't have to laugh." With tears running down our cheeks, we replied, "Oh yes, yes we do."   Awe, yes, sometimes revenge can be sweet.

A cheerful 2 year old Miranda

A thought to ponder: Grandchildren are your reward for not strangling                                           your teenagers.


Participating in: Share the Joy